Most people dislike change because they believe the process of changing is difficult or painful (both physically and emotionally). Thus, most change only happens when we recognize that the status quo — staying as we are or maintaining old behaviors — is more painful than the process of changing itself. When that happens, we approach change with hope and the promise of a new, more pleasurable existence. That realization encourages us to seek the knowledge and to find the time and the emotional fortitude to build new, healthier habits.

My experience with veganism has had its ups and downs. I grew up eating and loving meat — things like pork chops, ground beef, and even canned meats. When I decided to stop eating meat over a decade ago, I became a vegetarian for a while (eating eggs and dairy), then a pescatarian (enjoying fish on occasion), and then what I called a “holiday-tarian,” or someone who only indulges in meat during vacations and holidays.

At one point I even became what I call a “muffin vegetarian.” Yes, my diet was 100 percent plant-based, but I ate mostly white pasta, muffins, sugary drinks, and bread. How many nutrients could I have possibly found in that kind of food?! I might as well have been a McDonald’s, steak-and-potatoes gal! It took years of education, experimentation, and building better habits that work for me to finally commit long-term to veganism.

That has been my journey. Now it’s time for you to continue yours. What follows are my tips for changing to a healthier, mostly to fully plant-based diet, which is followed by an even more specific twenty-one-day diet plan.

My most important advice is this: Take any changes one step at a time. This is not an overnight process. Every small step is a step in the right direction. Particularly if your diet has been heavy with meat, don’t try to go “cold turkey” or make every change at once. Pick two or three strategies from the list below, try them for a week or two, and see what happens. Then try a few more.

After a month or so, as you adjust the balance of your diet and try a variety of foods, your taste buds will evolve. You may notice changes in your mood and well-being. You may realize that you don’t want meat anymore, or that meat becomes something you want only occasionally, as a treat or indulgence.

Whatever happens, give yourself time, patience, and self-love.

• Start by eating at least three fully plant-based meals a week. That’s just 14 percent of your weekly meals. For instance, pick breakfast on Monday, lunch on Wednesday, and dinner on Friday. Or, make one day entirely plant-based (like the popular Meatless Mondays). If you already do this, then expand by three the number of plant-based meals you normally have each week.

• Make a list of your favorite foods and dishes and see how you can veganize them. For example, if pasta is one of your favorite meals, pick vegetarian options like pasta primavera or eggplant parmesan and use plant-based cheeses.

• Eventually, ensure you have at least one plant-based meal every day, and if you already do this, and then make it two per day. In my experience, the easiest meal is breakfast. If you drink coffee in the morning, have it with almond, coconut, or rice milk. Or better yet, have a bowl of fruit on an empty stomach, wait one hour, then follow that with a piece of whole-wheat toast and organic jelly. Another alternative is a green smoothie made with spinach, bananas, berries, and almond milk.

• Eat at least one raw ingredient with each meal. For example, if you’re eating a bowl of whole-wheat pasta, have a side salad with arugula, cucumber, and avocado. If you’re having a Mexican bowl, make sure it includes fresh-made guacamole.

• Use my “reduce and replace” method (for more on this, see “The Basic Method: Reduce and Replace,” pages 148-50). Pick a single “junk food” to eliminate or reduce from your diet and replace it with one yummy health food you already know and love. For instance, reduce tortilla chips and replace with celery sticks; reduce a bag of Skittles and replace with whole fruit; reduce an afternoon coffee and replace with a cup of herbal tea. Continue doing this each week with other junk food until you have reduced and replaced at least 50 percent of the junk food you currently consume.

• When planning meals, think of animal flesh as a side dish, not a main dish. Make whole grains and colorful vegetables the main stars of each meal. If you still want to eat meat, make sure animal flesh fills less than 25 percent of your plate, so that you are eating less meat.

• Eventually, eat meat only on a single “treat” day. Choose a single day of the week to indulge in meat-based dishes. By doing this, you can also identify how your body reacts to consuming flesh versus whole plant foods.

• Chef Jenné also shared this tip: “Make colorful things, try to show that you can veganize familiar foods, whether they’re soul food or any other cuisine. Try to bridge familiarity with foods that you are already used to eating, and clean them up a little. If the recipe calls for a ton of oil or butter, find a way to cut back on those because, of course, it’s not just about it being vegan, but it’s also about it being healthier. Start where you’re at, with what you already know.”

• Finally, keep educating yourself. Be curious about food, diet, health, and your own body. Read books on the health benefits of a plant-based diet, and continue to learn the what, why, and how of the foods you eat. The more you know, the easier it is to make the right choices.

Jovanka Ciares is the author of Reclaiming Wellness and several other titles. A certified wellness expert, integrative herbalist, nutrition educator, and coach, she offers lectures and workshops in Spanish and English. Visit her online at http://www.jovankaciares.com.

Excerpted from the book from Reclaiming Wellness: Ancient Wisdom for Your Healthy, Happy, and Beautiful Life. Copyright ©2022 by Jovanka Ciares. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

Many people have told me that my dreams are a way of running away from my reality, and for years I considered this a truth, but now I realize that dreams are merely a fun way our soul gives us to learn our life lessons. Your dreams are illuminating the life path your soul wants you to take.

The reason you are here in your specific human body is to feel your dreams and act on them. From the moment of your conception, your soul picked you (and the skin you wear) because you are absolutely perfect for the purpose and mission your soul wants you to experience.

There are 7.6 billion other people here on Earth. Since most of us humans are designed fairly similarly, what makes us each truly authentic are our particular fiery passions and whatever it is that makes our hearts skip a beat. We all have unique things that make us tick, that bring us excitement and inspiration. For some people this may be music or writing; for others, it might be a particular sport or perhaps creating a successful career. There is no limit to the things we are passionate about. What do you do just because you love it?

This wild part of you that craves accomplishing certain things is your soul begging you to grow. If you feel that you were not born to spend 75 percent of your life working at a job you hate or staying in a marriage that keeps you bored or angry, this is your soul asking you for change. If you are looking for a sign to finally start making the changes you want to see in your life, perhaps that looking itself is the sign you need.

Every year, the bar-tailed godwit migrates from Alaska to New Zealand on a journey that takes approximately nine days, the longest known nonstop flight of any bird on the entire planet. Just like the godwit, every animal here on Earth is meant to take grand adventures that might at first feel daunting and scary but are such an important part of our life journey. The purpose of our human life is to commit to our soul’s magnetic migrations — to listen for the guidance of our soul, our intuition, and then act on it.

In humans, this instinctive calling from within often comes to us in our dreams. Dreams offer us guidance along our personal migration route, just as the caribou, the whales, the butterflies, and many species of birds — including the godwit — have their own internal migration guidance system. Our individual journeys are as unique to us as the ridges on our thumbs.

You are born to be wild; this couldn’t be more obvious. You are here to live out the wild adventures your soul is constantly calling you toward, because these heart passions guide you to grow and evolve in specific ways along your spiritual path.

Intuition

Dreams are just one of many ways intuition speaks to us. Our dreams often appear on the quietest of nights, like a northern star in a dark desert sky. At least, this is how my intuitive messages have come to me. When I stop all the doing and becoming in order to simply listen, in these moments my dreams always demand my attention.

The renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung defined intuition as “our perception via the unconscious” and went on to explain that perception using our senses — sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch — is only a starting point. In fact, we bring forth ideas, images, possibilities, and/or ways out of a blocked situation by a process that is mostly unconscious. Scientifically, intuition is viewed as knowledge in the absence of analytical reasoning or logic.

Intuition is our way of perceiving the world through the lens of our soul, not from our mind or our expectations. Intuitive messages come from a place deeper in our consciousness than the thinking mind. You cannot think your way to an intuitive decision; intuition can be felt only through excitement, curiosity, and passion — your unexplainable urges. When a spark of a wild idea or a crazy dream comes to you and fills your mind with delight for what could be, you are receiving messages from your soul.

Our intuition is a soft-spoken, subtle voice whispering from the deepest, most subconscious place within. When we first start to tune in to it, intuition sounds remarkably faint, which is probably why so many people often ignore it. The more fluent we train ourselves to be in this language of soul whisperings, the louder and clearer it becomes.

Kori Hahn is the author of Rituals of the Soul and founder of a community gathering place called the Santosha Society, which is dedicated to travel, surfing, and the soulful.  She hosts numerous trips around the world for hundreds of women who study Ayurveda, yoga, meditation, and all things related to soul growth, knowledge, and fulfillment. Visit her online at http://www.SantoshaSociety.com.

Excerpted from the book from Rituals of the Soul. Copyright ©2021 by Kori Hahn. Printed with permission from New World Library — http://www.newworldlibrary.com.

In these challenging times, fortunate individuals have an unexpected opportunity to turn their attention inward and listen in silence to life’s inner callings. For those who seek larger understandings, it is customary to routinely retreat from outer activity and mental clutter.

Perhaps it is a short daily meditation, a longer silent retreat, related reading, or a vision quest. It is at such moments that we can mindfully listen and receive guidance from the natural rhythms and wisdom of life. It is how wise teachers and religious figures chose to align themselves with sacred harmony and deeper knowledge. It is in that inner silence that truth and wholeness are finally revealed to the earnest seeker.

Staying in one place and slowing down one’s “doings” is a consistent requirement of retreat. Although traditionally motivated by a personal longing for meaning and essence, today we are further enabled by a virus-forced mandate. That is where we are, and where we will be for a time to come. So why not grasp this opportunity?

To assist you in using this time well, I would like to share with you three types of retreat: outer, inner, and innermost. I hope this information will motivate you to create an in-home retreat, right where you are, right now. You can begin after reading these few words.

Outer Retreat

An outer retreat occurs when we establish the external conditions that are conducive to an inner and innermost retreat. As a result of the current restrictions that now shape daily life, creating an outer retreat is a bit easier. We are already set-off from the usual activities and distractions of daily life. So we begin by resisting the habit of filling newly found “free time” with more “stuff,” recreating our usual busyness. That’s a familiar pattern that runs deep in our psyche. Be aware of this mental habit when it arises. Watch it and let it go. There are deeper and more important longings and possibilities to now attend to.

Next, as best you can, bring harmony into your outer life. Your living space should be inviting to your soul and spirit, heart-warming, soft, and facilitate inner time. Meals can be prepared in peace and solitude. Harmony can prevail in relationships. Consider creating a special “sacred space” in your house for meditation and self-reflection. Some set-up a small table in a spare room upon which to place important photos, candles, or objects of a spiritual nature. That can bring a special sense of stillness and inspiration.

Think of the energy, sweetness, and peace of nature, a religious space, or a meditation room. The cultivation of that essence is how we create an outer retreat that facilitates harmony of body, mind, and spirit.

Inner Retreat

Inner retreat is the formal time we use for daily meditation practice, as well as the informal time we are in a meditative space during daily activities. The aim of inner retreat is to rest in the stillness of mind rather than the usual mental commentary. Our formal sessions begin, particularly in times such as this, by giving rise to compassion and care for those who are suffering in difficult circumstances. I suggest as one possibility reciting the Bodhissattva Prayer written by Shantideva in the 900s. I will offer a link below. However, you can cultivate a compassionate attitude in whatever manner most suits you.

The next step in inner retreat is calming the mind. We begin with calming methods, using what you already know that works for you. I am linking below a 10-session audio recording that might assist you. The first 3 sessions focus on approaches to calming the mind.

It doesn’t so much matter how you calm the mind, but that you calm it and then rest in the stillness that underlies mental chatter. Mind-talk will inevitably arise, but that doesn’t mean you cannot stay calm in the midst of background noise. You can. Disregard the pull of your usual mind. Allow mental activity to come and go on its own. Allow the usual mental commentary to play itself out. But you, you, remember who you are. The one who is aware, who observes, is still, and fully aware. You are not your thoughts, beliefs, and mental commentary.

What is the aim of an inner retreat? The aim is to empty our mind of afflictive/disturbing emotions, experience the peace and serenity of a calm mind, cultivate the capacity to remain emotionally stable in challenging circumstances, and allow an open space for new insights regarding self, reality, and life directions to naturally and spontaneously arise. As we continue this daily inner retreat, we will recognize its value and realize that even in the midst of outer turbulence there can be inner stability and strength. That is the essence of an inner retreat, we retreat into a calm, clear, alert, and peaceful mind.

Innermost Retreat

The final stage of retreat is an innermost retreat. I am sorry to say that this is the most difficult to convey in words, as to know it, you must experience it directly. Much as you cannot know the actual taste of a Mango by merely listening to a description of it, you cannot know the actual nature of an innermost experience without tasting the center of your being. However, I’ll do the best I can to point you in that direction.

There is an experience, an experience of the innermost and most expansive ground of our being, that we can call spirit, essence, natural self, true self, empty-awareness, or any one of the many names that refer to it. It contains and gives rise to all other levels of experience. One can say it is the ground of our being, a place of isness, thatness, beingness, or pure presence. It just is. When great teachers are asked what it is, they mysteriously answer “It is that.” That’s not much of an answer, because there isn’t an answer. When you experience it, you will know.

Yet, the good news is that we have all experienced our innermost being at one time or another. Whenever we experience the loss of a sense of personal self and its preoccupations, we experience life in that moment as an easy flow. We taste the expansiveness and pervasiveness of peace, and joy. We can catch a glimpse during when we “lose” our usual self in dance, music, art, meditation, yoga, exercise, nature, intimacy, and so on. These moments are usually considered lovely serendipitous experiences. They come and go with a smile. In contrast, what we seek in retreat is an intentional and increasingly stable meeting with our innermost self.

There is no particular effort or practice you can use to directly access this innermost presence. The best you can do is to remove the obstacles, experience a longing and desire to return to your inner home, and allow for grace. So you don’t “do” an innermost retreat, you let go and allow it to happen. Your efforts towards inner development enhance the probability that you will touch this natural self. And let’s remember, we are not visitors to this innermost place. It is who we are. Resting in the ground of our being is the innermost retreat.

So we begin retreat with an intention and commitment based on the understanding that outer experiences as well as mental experiences are transient. We realize the fatigue of a life spent searching for our self in perishable experiences. Increasingly, we trust that the only sustaining experience is the unchanging nature of our true self, our true nature.

We cultivate a harmonious outer environment that supports retreat. That is followed by calming the mind through meditation practice and resting in stillness and serenity. This inner retreat can at any time spontaneously open into an innermost retreat, revealing the essential nature of our natural essence and self – the truth of our existence. If not, we feel blessed and enriched with what we have learned and experienced.

Some final words – start simply, be patient, do not attach to expectations, and appreciate the here and now of meditation practice and retreat. And add a dash of discipline.

I do hope that this short description of the three aspects of retreat allows you to wisely use this in-between time. Perhaps you will then find the precious gold that is often most accessible at times of great adversity.

To learn more about Dr. Dacher and his work, visit: http://www.elliottdacher.org

Intuition is the voice of the Soul. Much of the work of navigating relationships depends on our intuitive ability to clearly hear Soul’s wisdom. Because the ego is quick to react or judge, it takes work, at times, to raise ourselves vibrationally to the love story of our intuition. And most of us live life as intuitive amateurs.

We may occasionally receive clarity through a dream, a sudden feeling of unease, or a ping in our gut. But the skill of truly hearing and heeding Soul’s wisdom requires becoming an intuitive pro. Instead of waiting for moments of intuition to come to us, we consciously build the intuitive muscle and learn to listen for specific answers to life’s questions whenever we need to, even if we are stressed or in crisis.

Soul dialoguing occurs when we create a two-way dialogue between our ego voice and our Soul voice, out loud or in our head. We start by asking a question from our perspective as ego, and then we listen with our intuition to receive Soul’s answer. Like any new skill, this may at first feel strange and challenging as our minds adjust to a different form of internal dialogue. But anytime we speak directly to Soul we strengthen the listening muscle of our intuition. Developing a relationship with Soul through intuitive dialogue helps the ego recognize, understand, and ultimately trust this new internal spiritual teacher. We believe the most efficient path to incarnating Soul is daily connection and practice with these techniques.

Soul dialoguing is a simple technique, but it also takes practice. To hear the voice of the Soul, we must be able to clearly discern what is ego (programmed narratives, society’s influence, fears disguised as love) and what is Soul. Recognizing and listening to the Soul guarantees connection to and an experience of love but also shows us how we are love by birthright. Fully embodying the vastness of love is a process that takes time — but after we acquaint ourselves with our Divine nature, trust in our internal genius grows.

Real Love or Assumption of Love

Asking the Soul’s advice, opinion, and direction brings Soul into our minds, hearts, and relationships. In applying Soul’s wisdom, we strengthen our own ego-to-Soul bond and eventually develop conscious Soul communion with our partners. One of the simplest and most profound ways to speak to Soul is simply to ask yourself: “What would love say?” These four magic words harness the power of intention to activate our inner remote control and tune us in to the station of love. When you talk directly to love, you engage your unique version of love — in other words, your Soul.

Yet as humans we often misinterpret the internal voice of love. Depending on our upbringing, we may misinterpret needy attachment or codependency as love. We may think love and our self-worth are based solely on our ability to provide for our partner financially. We may think love is solving every single one of our partner’s problems and consistently rescuing them from their own uncomfortable feelings. We may think love is staying in relationship till death do us part, even if we are desperately unhappy.

Soul corrects these misguided beliefs by introducing us to real love. Love is not fear based, clingy, or reactive; love is wholly and utterly complete, a force unto itself. To know love, we must take our human projections and limitations off love. We must come to the inquiry of love with an open heart, rational discernment, and a clean slate.

We know this sounds simple, but it can also be extremely challenging at times. In fact, we often see clients assume they are relating to their Soul when, in fact, they are engaged in an egoic interpretation or a mental assumption of Soul. This heady attempt does not work to actually solve the problems of the ego.

Many times people think about the Soul and assume that because they are clocking “spiritual hours,” they are engaging in a personal and direct relationship with Soul. But one is intellectualism, while the other requires vulnerability and courage. Talking about love is not the same as talking to love. When we talk to love, we engage directly with the universal energy that is birthing the incarnation of our sainted self. This is not a light task; it is one of destroying illusions. Ultimately our job is to weed out whatever stands in the way of love.

Soul dialoguing is a nuanced and disciplined approach to forging an intimate, accountable relationship with your higher self. When done correctly, it takes our own projections off love and reveals how love is greater than we could have ever fathomed. To do this well, we humble the ego, align with the energy of love, and become transformed by the Soul. This intimate relationship with love itself changes everything. There are no shortcuts. This spiritual skill relies completely on direct engagement with Soul. Soul must be accurately summoned to have its profound and lasting effects.

Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley are the authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships and cohosts of the Holy & Human Podcast.  Together, they help individuals awaken and deepen their soulful nature within relationships. Visit them online at http://www.holyandhuman.com

Excerpted from the book from Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships. Copyright ©2022 by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley. Printed with permission from New World Library — http://www.newworldlibrary.com.

This may sound ominous, but it shouldn’t be frightening. That’s because these mysterious forces are energy. Everyone and everything is energy, which is part of an interconnected force. A well-known adage in the realm of quantum physics states that there is no matter, there is just energy, which vibrates at different frequencies. This is not philosophy — this is physics.

It’s natural for people to fear the unknown. A mystery is an event or situation that is difficult to understand or explain. One of the greatest mysteries is what happens when we die. Do we cease to exist, or does our existence continue on beyond the material world?

There are logical and rational explanations for everything, even if what is required for them exceeds our current level of science and technology. This includes life after death. As Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, renowned psychic medium and creator of Sherlock Holmes, wrote, “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Terms such as energy, soul, spirits, and synchronicity have become clichés in the study of life after death, as are statements like, “We’re all interconnected,” or “Everything happens for a reason.” However, flinging around buzzwords and phrases doesn’t explain the scientific basis for contact with the higher vibration of the afterlife frequency, which encompasses the  existence of the soul, communication with spirits, near-death experiences, and deathbed visions — nor does it explain how we’re all interconnected and how synchronicity is possible.

Synchronicity has seeped into our culture as a term used to describe events that seem to neatly fall into place, such as being in the right place at the right time, bumping into someone again and again, or experiencing a series of small coincidences that in hindsight feel destined. Of course, there’s also a flip side, like being in the wrong place at the wrong time, taking an unexpected shortcut and ending up in an accident, or simply having a feeling of foreboding.

We experience both positive and negative events in our lives because everything is energy, which carries both positive and negative charges. Dean Radin, PhD, chief scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) has stated, “The idea of the universe as an interconnected whole is not new; for millennia it’s been one of the core assumptions of Eastern philosophies. What is new is that Western science is slowly beginning to realize that some elements of that ancient lore might be correct.”

We now know from quantum physics that everything in our material world is composed of the same subatomic particles of electromagnetic energy, known as quanta. On the most basic level, all things, from the grains of sand on the beach to your blood cells to the nuclear reactions in the sun, are not only energy but energetically interconnected. All life is energy, and energy never dies.

Spirits are part of this great fabric of energy and of intelligence, which pervades and flows through this energy. Spirits are pure quantum electromagnetic energy and as such can transmit messages and signs to us, acting as a guiding force. This is how we can end up “at the right place at the right time.” This is “spiritual synchronicity.” The challenge is recognizing, accepting, feeling, and trusting the spirit communication.

It may appear far-fetched to believe that some mysterious spiritual energy could possibly influence our daily lives, but the greatest synchronistic anomaly of all is our very existence.

Everyone familiar with science fiction has heard of antimatter, the energetic opposite of matter, which has the same amount of mass as matter. For every particle of matter, there is a corresponding particle of antimatter. When matter and antimatter particles collide, they cause the most efficient explosion known to science, which results in total annihilation.

According to recent discoveries at CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research), the primordial matter-antimatter explosion known as the big bang should have left a total void in its aftermath — meaning that nothing should have been left over to create galaxies, planets, and life-forms. Christian Smorra, the lead scientist at CERN, reported, “All of our observations find a complete symmetry between matter and antimatter, which is why the universe should not actually exist.”

This means there are forces beyond our understanding that influence our very existence. If energy never dies and we are all a part of and connected to this immortal composition, then these forces can also influence and be a source of guidance in our daily lives. Understanding this intellectually is one thing — experiencing it up close is quite another.

Mark Anthony, JD, the Psychic Explorer (aka the Psychic Lawyer) is the author of The Afterlife Frequency, Never Letting Go, and Evidence of Eternity. He is an Oxford-educated attorney, world-renowned psychic, nationally recognized legal analyst, headline speaker at international conferences and universities, and favorite guest on TV and radio shows. He cohosts The Psychic & The Doc on Transformation Network and is a regular columnist for Best Holistic Life magazine. Visit him online at www.AfterlifeFrequency.com. 

Excerpted from the book The Afterlife Frequency: The Scientific Proof of Spiritual Contact and How That Awareness Will Change Your Life.  Copyright ©2021 by Mark Anthony. Printed with permission from New World Library — http://www.newworldlibrary.com.

The awakenings are extraordinary in two ways: first, because they occur in such unexpected circumstances, and second, because they have such an incredible effect. People feel completely reborn, as if they are completely different people. In psychology, there is a concept called ‘post-traumatic growth,’ which describes how trauma can have long term positive effects.

In the long run, it can lead to an enhanced sense of appreciation and meaning, more authentic relationships, a wider sense of perspective, and so on. TTT is an extreme and dramatic form of post-traumatic growth. It often happens instantaneously, in a single moment of transformation. People shift into a much more intense and expansive awareness. They feel a sense of wellbeing, and the world seems more real and beautiful. They feel more connected to other people, and to nature.

Essentially, people spontaneously attain the state of “enlightenment” or “wakefulness” that is spoken of in many spiritual traditions. They accidentally find what spiritual practitioners have been searching for since time immemorial. 

Extraordinary Awakenings

At the age of 42, Irene Murray was diagnosed with breast cancer and told that she might only have a few months left to live. Irene reacted to her diagnosis in an unusual way. As she described it, “It was the first time I’d seen death as a reality. I thought, ‘I’m just so lucky to be alive.’ The air was so clean and fresh and everything I looked at seemed so vibrant and vivid. The trees were so green and everything was so alive. I became aware of this energy radiating from the trees. I had a tremendous feeling of connectedness.”

Irene expected the feeling to fade but it didn’t. As she put it, “It was really intense for the first few weeks, and it’s remained ever since. It just blew me away. I used to just sit and think, “This is amazing, that things could just fall into place so quickly.’

Fortunately, Irene’s cancer went into remission, but her sense of appreciation and wellbeing remained. She felt like a different person and gave up her IT career to retrain as a counsellor and therapist. More than anything, she felt a new sense of connection to other people and to nature, and a new enjoyment of solitude and doing nothing.  

A woman called Eve had a similar experience, after reaching rock bottom as an alcoholic. After 29 years of addiction, she felt physically and emotionally broken, and attempted suicide by walking in front of a coach. At her parents’ house, her mother assumed Eve needed a drink to ease her withdrawal symptoms and gave her a glass of wine. But Eve couldn’t drink it. She was given high doses of sedatives to deal with her withdrawal symptoms, and after a few days, she felt like she had become a new person who was free of addiction. As she told me, “Mum sat me down in front of a mirror, and said, ‘Look at yourself, you’re an alcoholic.’ I looked at myself, and I had no idea who I was. I felt like a completely different person.”

Eve was slightly confused by her transformation at first, but soon it settled down, and she began to feel liberated, with a heightened awareness and an intense sense of connection to the world. She has never felt the urge to drink again and has been sober for ten years.

A New Reality

It is important to note that there is nothing religious about TTT. Although we could describe it as a spiritual awakening, it is essentially, it’s a psychological experience, related to a breakdown of identity. More specifically, I believe that TTT is related to the dissolution of psychological attachments (such as to hopes and ambitions, status, social roles, beliefs, possessions, other people) which sustain our normal sense of identity. The breakdown of attachments and identity is usually a painful experience, but in some people, it may allow a new identity to emerge.

More than anything else, transformation through turmoil reveals the massive potential and deep resilience within human beings, which we are usually unaware of until we face challenges and crises. Although we are often afraid that crises will break us down, there is a good chance that they will wake us up.

Steve Taylor, PhD, is the author of Extraordinary Awakenings and many other bestselling books. He’s senior lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University and the chair of the Transpersonal Psychology Section of the British Psychological Society. Steve’s articles and essays have been published in over 100 academic journals, magazines, and newspapers and he blogs for Scientific American and Psychology Today. Visit him online at www.StevenMTaylor.com.

Based on the book Extraordinary Awakenings: When Trauma Leads to Transformation. Copyright ©2021 by Steve Taylor. Printed with permission from New World Library — http://www.newworldlibrary.com.

Without these practices, things don’t flow the way they should. This creates a breeding ground for doubt. At best, we feel discomfort, which makes it hard to keep doing the work we need to do. At worst, stagnant energy hangs around us. We feel like we’re losing touch with reality; our doubt goes off the charts. This is an unfortunate state to be in and entirely unnecessary, at that. We’re better off if we prevent it altogether.

Choose a way to clean your space, your body, and any sacred objects you hold dear. I encourage this level of freedom, this DIY-style spirituality, with everything. That means if you want to cleanse with incense, go for it. If you want to burn sage or palo santo or some other raw plant, that’s fantastic. If you’re into holy water, or tap water with essential oils, or even water you’ve collected from your favorite forest stream, dot a little on your heart or your third eye (the seat of your intuition, located on your forehead between your brows), or perhaps pour a bit on your head or hands. You can say a prayer while you do so, sing a song, recite a mantra, or empty your mind of all thoughts. Pay special attention to the parts of your physical or spiritual body that feel energetically significant — your heart, your hands, your third eye, and so on. What matters most is that you’re putting intention toward releasing what doesn’t serve.

The same principle applies to grounding. Grounding is about protection. It’s about staying present enough to guard our own house, and to ask our guides to join us in that. In most cases, we physically get low to the ground — think praying, sitting in meditation, and so forth — or at least bring attention to the lower parts of the body. Then we ask for help from something outside us. By reconnecting with the light, we remind ourselves of what our spirit is here to do — inhabit this body, for a time, and use that time wisely. We then allow divine energy to come through us, filling us up with positivity and replenishing our resources.

As with cleansing, there are many ways to go about grounding. If you feel connected to a cultural tradition that makes that happen, practice that. If you’re called to make up your own thing or to adapt a version of someone else’s teaching, that’s fine, too. How you protect yourself is your business; my only goal is to convince you to do so.

When I use words like cleanse, ground, and protect,  I don’t want to give the impression that there’s something dirty or unsafe about spiritual lightwork, because I don’t believe that to be the case. Instead, we owe these rituals to ourselves and our Team as a sign of respect. We don’t allow anything to build up, any outside energies to cling to us. We hold ourselves accountable by affirming, over and over again, what we’re here to do: to work with light while in a human body. Repeating these practices over and over is a necessary part of turning toward a spiritual life.

In summary: find your thing, pick your way, and do it regularly. I’m a stickler about that last part. As you practice cleansing and grounding, you will start to know when you need them. These rituals will become comforting; they will become your spiritual home base.

PRACTICE

Smudging and Bringing In the Light

You may have already identified the cleansing and grounding practices that are going to work best for you. If you are still curious, I offer my own. My cleansing practice is smudging with sage, and my grounding practice is an adapted visualization meditation that I call Bringing In the Light.

Smudging

We’ll start with smudging. This is a technique developed in numerous Native American traditions that uses smoke to cleanse the air, which in turn can clear any energetic nastiness hanging on to people, animals, places, and the like. While the act largely mirrors similar incense- and smoke-cleansing methods from Europe, East Asia, and the Middle East, using white sage — my preferred plant for cleansing — is unique to the indigenous communities from the North American continent. White sage has a powerful and immediate effect.

To smudge, light the tip of a single dried leaf or the end of a smudge stick, putting your intention into the flame before blowing it out and allowing the plant to smolder. I love the smell; it immediately opens me up to Spirit. Then, using a small bowl or other sacred item (I like using an abalone shell) to catch any burning pieces that might fall, wave a feather to direct the smoke around your space, clearing out everything that isn’t for your own highest good and that of others. Move the smoke over your whole body, being sure to cleanse your hands, heart, and third eye. When you’re finished, you can allow the sage to burn out on its own in the bowl, or if it’s very well lit, consider putting it out in a little bit of sand or fresh soil.

Bringing In the Light

Bringing In the Light is a mini-meditation based on one I learned from my teacher Pat Longo. This grounding ritual helps us replenish our energy directly from the source. It offers us a protective energy boost while spreading universal Source energy throughout the world. This practice is done seated with the palms facing up.

Start by saying, either internally or aloud, “Dear guides, with gratitude I ask that you fill my body and soul with your love and protection. Please ground my energy so that I may serve the greater good with a renewed vibration.” Feel your body connected to the earth. See your own energy reaching down to the planet’s very core. Then imagine a bright beam of light coming from above and filling you with divine energy. If visualization comes easily to you, it’s possible that you will actually see this light in your mind’s eye. If you’ve never in your life been able to “see” things in your mind’s eye, don’t worry — just imagine it. Allow the light to enter in through the top of your head, beaming down through your face, and allow some of it to expand outward through your ears, sending forth all the knowledge of the universe. Allow the light to continue descending through your throat, neck, chest, and shoulders; into your arms; and through your fingertips. Allow it to move down through your torso and belly and down your legs to come out your feet. See the light connecting you directly to the floor (if you’re indoors) and the earth beneath it. Now, allow that light to ground you even further. Take a few breaths, feeling how the light grounds you. When you’re ready, open your eyes.

I encourage you to adapt this ritual for your own needs over time. You will likely learn to do it quickly, sometimes even imperceptibly, as needed. The more you do so, the more you’ll be able to recognize when your energy requires a slight adjustment to realign with Spirit.

MaryAnn DiMarco is the author of Medium Mentor: 10 Powerful Techniques to Awaken Divine Guidance for Yourself and Others.  An internationally recognized psychic medium, healer, and spiritual teacher, her work has been featured in media outlets like The New York Times, The Dr. Oz Show, Women’s Health, Elle, and Redbook. Visit her online at http://www.MaryAnnDiMarco.com.

Excerpted from the book from Medium Mentor: 10 Powerful Techniques to Awaken Divine Guidance for Yourself and Others. Copyright ©2022 by MaryAnn DiMarco. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.

The details are simple to understand. We begin by imagining, in the mental field in front of us, the image of a loved one – traditionally one’s mother. We start with the aspiration, riding on the in-breath, that our loved one be free of suffering and the causes of suffering. We can further advance this to the sincere desire of taking upon our self the suffering of others, imagining dissolving it in our heart.

Similarly, with each out-breath we aspire that the other be happy and establish the causes of happiness. We can similarly advance this to the desire to give our happiness and the causes of our happiness to others, knowing that the source within cannot be depleted. This is the basic practice. Breathe out, breathe in, send love and happiness and receive suffering and the causes of suffering.

As mentioned, the practice traditionally begins with the image of one’s mother. Why mother? Because that is the foundational relationship of human intimacy, the essential first experience of selfless love and care, which serves as the primary basis of adult intimacy. Given that reality what person is more deserving of our gratitude, love, care, and selfless attention? So surely, by remembering the selfless love of mother, we can further cultivate love and compassion for others, maximizing the effect of this practice. To their surprise, as Eastern teachers introduced this practice to the West, they ran directly into an unexpected obstacle.

The moment the practice is explained hands go up – “not my mother.” “My mother was this and that,” which was invariably followed by a litany of complaints about mother’s indifferent, negligent, or abusive behavior that permanently “broke” the essential bond of mother/child intimacy – foreshadowing the adult intimacy issues so prevalent in the West.

Recognizing this unique dilemma of modern life, a shift took place in how the practice was taught. Alternatively, the Western student is asked to begin the practice by remembering the kindness and care given by a special loved one or give rise to a state of inner quiet and inner well-being, and use either approach as the basis of the practice. The Western issue with mother is thus bypassed.

Let me now explain how I learned this practice in Asia. I learned Tonglen at a 10-day seminar at the Pullahari Monastary in the foothills of Kathmandu. As students, we met as a group 2 hours twice daily. For the first 4 days the teacher would review over and over the ways in which mother was kind and selfless. Little attention was given to the psychological limitations of an immature mother. The emphasis was on the life-giving response to the completely dependent child, which enabled our good fortune to attain adulthood.

He would begin each session recalling the decision, conscious or unconscious, to carry a child, and how this changed a mother’s life. He would then speak of the carrying of a growing child, difficulties of pregnancy, the delivery process, the sleepless nights, challenges of child rearing, and the inherent self-sacrifice over many years of child development, and finally the letting go when the time came. I will spare the very detailed and heartfelt descriptions he gave of this process. But, they were extensive, irrefutable, and heart-touching.

Each day after teachings we would return to our small room to contemplate the kindness and gratitude of our mother. My mother was an immigrant to this country, working 2 jobs as long as I can recall, navigating a difficult marriage, and doing the best to raise her children in a nuclear family. Intimacy was a psychological and logistical impossibility for her. It was only at the end of my mother’s life that some aspect of belated intimacy developed. Yet, I followed the teacher’s instructions. Every day, twice a day, my meditation practice was focused around recalling the elements of self-sacrifice, that to one extent or another are essential aspects of motherhood.

For the first day or two this was an intellectual practice, but then, something shifted, something began to open in my heart. I began to recognize the sacrifices that my “psychologically imperfect” mother did in fact make for my life, enabling a young first generation American to transition through the highly dependent years of infancy to become a physician early on and then gravitate to the mountains of the Himalayas to find the deeper sources of knowledge and healing. What a gift!

Could I have accomplished that without her? Could you have accomplished your life without the self-sacrifices of your mother and others? In my case, the answer was for me a resounding “no.” That is not an assertion of her perfection, far from that, but a realization of my total dependency on her for everything pre- and post-natal. And the fact that I am here today verifies that in her own imperfect way she met that dependency with care, as best as was possible given her circumstance.

By the fourth day of these instructions, reflection, and meditation, I began to feel tears of gratitude well up in my heart and trickle down my face. I began to appreciate, as never before, the extraordinary kindness and self-sacrifice of my mother, followed by father, sister, and others. This appreciation looked past the surface imperfections to the instinctual and good heart of every mother, however obscured it may have seemed at the time.

Once this was accomplished, we were then instructed to drop down into our heart and cultivate these feelings, allowing the recollection of kindness and self-sacrifice to morph into an expansive gratitude. With this achieved, we were then told that we were ready to begin the authentic practice of Tonglen.

We were to take in suffering and give out kindness from the essence of this cultivated heart feeling. Nothing made-up here. The sequence begins with our most cherished ones, moves to unknown others, to those we perceive as difficult, and finally to all of humanity. We begin, of course with mother.

That is how I learned to practice Tonglen and re-immerse myself in the positivity of my mother’s imperfect efforts. I learned to see with gratitude the core of goodness whose care was life-sustaining, and the best possible given their capacities and circumstances. I no longer had to contrive or fabricate the depth of gratefulness and heart that is at the basis of this authentic practice.

I would like to make two comments regarding differences, East and West, that to some extent explain the issues discussed above. First, traditionally in the East children are raised by a large extended family. There is always someone around for a hug, reassurance, listening, and providing. Such an extended community provides a stable and loving childhood. In contrast, in modern times it is very difficult for a mother or a unit of mother and father to offer the same. Although the intention of selfless parenting may be the same, the inevitable consequences of the stressful environment of modern parenting allows little support for the exhausted, psychologically youthful and over-extended parent.

A second point I wish to raise is what I would call Western psychology’s demonization of motherhood. To me this is a devastating side-effect, rarely discussed, that profoundly impacts on the problems of adult intimacy. In the East the mother is deeply respected and honored for her role, irrespective of what must at times be less than perfection. This allows for the honoring and preservation of this initial and profound first intimacy.

In the West, it’s my observation that mother is held responsible for many adult difficulties and lacks the deep regard and honor given in the East. The cost of this demonization of motherhood, is in my view, deeply felt individually and culturally. These two factors may account for the difficulty in this practice taking authentic hold in the West.

Perhaps there is a lesson in this telling. None of us has reached the pinnacle of psychological health. We all suffer our past history. Perhaps it may yet be possible for each of us to look back, look beyond the psychological immaturity of our loved ones and open our wisdom and heart to the deeper love and selflessness that resides within the essential essence of each of us and is especially embodied in the motherly response to the total dependency of our life before, in, and out of the womb. This is not to justify psychological abuse, but rather to free us into a deeper capacity for forgiveness, gratitude, and intimacy on our path to a larger life and health. It is that attitude the primes the powerful practice of Tonglen.

Elliott Dacher, MD website: http://www.elliottdacher.org

It can only be known by direct experience. All that another can do is point you towards that experience. If you follow that pointing you will certainly, when the moment is ripe, know it for yourself. Experiencing your natural, unaltered, and simple awareness is experiencing precisely who you are and have always been. This awareness has no purpose, intention, expectation, or attachment. It just is.

It’s actually quite simple to experience. We are born into a pure and simple awareness. A young child naturally experiences one thing after another without interpretation and commentary, without separation into “I” and It.” The Buddhists illustrate this with the metaphor of a complex tapestry. A young child enjoys the diverse sensory experiences, leaping with delight from one visual impression to another.

However, that is no longer how it is for us. We have lost the natural unfiltered awareness of a child. Instead, we superimpose memories, stories, and meanings onto the perceived images. We are constantly interpreting and commenting on the tapestry. Rather than experiencing the tapestry as it is we alter it, experiencing instead as a conceptual abstraction. And these mental elaborations rapidly take over from our brief but natural experience, affording little if any time to experience what’s actually there.

There is neither good nor bad here, but merely the observation that direct unfiltered awareness is our natural state. The problem is not that we acquire the capacity to add meaning and context but rather that we forget and lose the capacity to experience directly what is as is. We get meaning, context and perhaps functionality by superimposing existing patterns of perception, but lose the creativity, freshness, and possibilities of a beginner’s mind.

How does this happen? Early in childhood we lose touch with unfiltered awareness. It fades from view as we develop the sense of a personal identity. We are given a name and then fill that container with life experiences, which in time are formed into fixed patterns of perception – templates through which we see the world. Our world becomes narrower, familiar, fixed, and increasingly abstract. Simple awareness goes underground, as we develop a conditioned, selective, and preferential awareness.

A tree is no longer a simple sensory experience. It is a certain kind of tree with specific characteristics, uses, and preferences. Another person is no longer an unknown to experience and discover, but rather quickly categorized – liked or disliked. Nothing remains quite as it is. We create a fictitious world, no longer experiencing life as is, but rather what we have made of it with our conditioned mind. Our adult life is thus circumscribed and limited by the past. Seven billion people on our planet and seven billion worlds.

I would like to stop here and offer the words of T.S. Eliot:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

In the same poem he offers us a more specific instruction:

In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.

What are we told? First, that what the seeker seeks is what we have always been from the very beginning, before the process of individuation and separation. Our journey, the end of our seeking, is a homecoming. To accomplish this return requires awareness of the process of individuation, its assets, and liabilities. We begin from the fragmented disconnection of our personal self, which still holds a subtle remembrance and longing for our natural essence, our wholeness. We become humble pilgrims walking the path that returns home, to the place from where we started.

The most insidious liability of individuation is our conditioning – the habits of perception and reactivity that unknowingly shape and influence all our experiences. We learn to acknowledge their presence with neutrality and detachment. We then let these ghosts of the past dissipate from lack of further attention or elaboration. The past, we observe is merely a mental pattern laid down long ago whose significance, if any at all, is long gone. So, what is it like to experience a natural and unconditioned awareness that is free of the past?

Consider the following. When you first awaken in the morning notice what enters your visual or auditory field. It is not yet named, valued, or in any way altered from its actual presentation to consciousness. It is simple unconditioned awareness of a sensory object. When absorbed in meditation you can similarly observe mental activity come and go without adding a mental commentary. This is unconditioned awareness of a mental object. It may only last a moment before your usual conditioned awareness takes over. Observe that as well, as it is essential that you come to know the entire process – how unfiltered awareness re-boots as conditioned awareness. 

Why is this glimpse of unfiltered awareness so important? It’s the beginning of a new freedom, or perhaps I should say an old freedom. We now have the choice of experiencing and responding to how things actually are rather than experiencing and reacting to a self and world shaped by our past. We are able to discern and observe our mental process and act free of the influences of the known.

The final step occurs when our attention shifts to awareness itself. We become self-aware rather than object-aware. Unlike the child we know our unconditioned awareness for the first time, as well as our conditioning. We are aware that mental and sensory objects appear in consciousness – we acknowledge all that arises in awareness – but we know them to be only transient appearances on an unchanging ground awareness. Our natural awareness, the ground of our being, does not come and go. It is ever-present now and always.

Challenges and difficult circumstances will continue. But they will be experienced by a stable and unmoving awareness. They will be held in a ground of serenity, peace, wisdom, and gentleness. No fear. No anxiety. No suffering. Just presence and being. Some say this is a passive state that’s incompatible with worldy life. This is not so. That is merely the statement of an ego caught in ordinary life. Those who touch beyond know better.

When action is necessary it spontaneously arises from the clear knowing of unconditioned awareness. That action will not be a reaction to our interpretation of an event, but rather a precise and accurate response to the experience at hand as it is. There is no thought process involved, just a natural knowing and natural responsiveness. We slowly gain trust and confidence in living from this center of our being. And we gain inspiration from knowing that those great ones, as well as ordinary individuals who have lived from heart and soul, are remembered for their lasting noble contributions to mankind

We will also discover that this simple awareness is the great healing elixir. The mental and sensory appearances that once seemed separate from awareness will be recognized as the dynamic expression of awareness – formlessness and form each an expression of consciousness. No longer a separation. No longer fragmentation. Finally, the knowing of wholeness, of oneness, of the sacred union. We return home and know it for the first time.

In the Western tradition the wise Oracle of Delphi expresses it this way:

Once you have touched it

There is no division:

No tearing your heart away

For it knows no separation.

Website: http://www.elliottdacher.org